When Things Go Wrong

When Things Go Wrong

© by Bud Lemire on Sept 14, 2015

I laugh, I sweat

I fart and forget
I pee in my shoe

So easy to do

I cough and sneeze

With shaky knees

I try to stand

A bit wobbly I am

I finally make it to bed

Then realize I have to pee instead

Back to the bathroom I go

After I pee, my urine is low

I really need to take a nap

But maybe first I will crap

After all I want to sleep well

No interruptions, no alarm bell

All of a sudden the telephone rings

It's probably one of those ding a lings

I hear a voice, but can't make it out

Not really important, I have no doubt

I'm taken away on an endless flight

I hold on for dear life on the end of a kite

I'm scared of heights, so I don't look down

I notice the kite has a face of a clown

It laughs a real frightening laugh at me

But all I can think of is, I have to pee

I wonder if I can pee from up there

So I find myself peeing in the air

Yellow showers for anyone below

Hey wait! I think I see someone I know

No! Don't walk under this shower

Too late, good thing I lost my power

The red nose on the clown kite starts to flash

I land in a puddle, with a big splash

Oh, what is this that is happening to me

I think I just landed in a puddle of pee

All of a sudden I look up to see

A ceiling is looking down at me

I'm lying down in my own bed

Sure glad I'm not seeing a flashing red

That clown's nose really flashed a bright red

But I am so happy to be back in my own bed